IPL 2009 TimeTable, New IPL Season 2 Schedule in Africa

IPL 2009 TimeTable, New IPL Season 2 Schedule in Africa

April 18: Rajasthan Royals Vs Royal Challengers Bangalore
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Cape Town

April 18: Mumbai Indians Vs Chennai Super Kings
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Cape Town.

April 19: Kolkata Knight Riders Vs Deccan Chargers
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Cape Town

April 19: Delhi Daredevils Vs Kings XI Punjab
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Cape Town.

April 20: Bangalore Royal Challengers Vs Chennai Super Kings
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Port Elizabeth.

April 21: Rajasthan Royal Vs Mumbai Indians
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Durban

April 21: Kolkata Knight Riders Vs Mohali Kings XI Punjab
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Durban

April 22: Delhi Daredevils Vs Chennai Super Kings
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Durban

April 22: Bangalore Royal Challengers Vs Hyderabad Deccan chargers
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Cape Town

April 23: Kolkata Knight Riders Vs Rajasthan Royal
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Port Elizabeth

April 24: Mohali Kings XI Punjab Vs Bangalore Royal Challengers
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Johannesburg

April 25: Kolkata Knight Riders Vs Chennai Super Kings
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Cape Town

April 25: Hyderabad Deccan chargers Vs Mumbai Indians
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Durban.

April 26: Rajasthan Royal Vs Mohali Kings XI Punjab
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Cape Town

April 26: Bangalore Royal Challengers Vs Delhi Daredevils
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Port Elizabeth

April 27: Kolkata Knight Riders Vs Mumbai Indians
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Cape Town

April 27: Chennai Super Kings Vs Hyderabad Deccan chargers
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Durban.

April 28: Delhi Daredevils Vs Rajasthan Royal
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria

April 29: Mumbai Indians Vs Mohali Kings XI Punjab
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Durban

April 29: Kolkata Knight Riders Vs Bangalore Royal Challengers
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Durban

April 30: Delhi Daredevils Vs Hyderabad Deccan chargers
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria

April 30: Rajasthan Royal Vs Chennai Super Kings
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria.

May 1: Bangalore Royal Challengers Vs Mohali Kings XI Punjab
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: East London

May 1: Mumbai Indians Vs Kolkata Knight Riders
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Durban

May 2: Rajasthan Royal Vs Hyderabad Deccan chargers
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Johannesburg

May 2: Chennai Super Kings Vs Delhi Daredevils
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Port Elizabeth

May 3: Mumbai Indians Vs Bangalore Royal Challengers
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Durban

May 3: Mohali Kings XI Punjab Vs Kolkata Knight Riders
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: East London

May 4: Hyderabad Deccan chargers Vs Chennai Super Kings
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Port Elizabeth

May 5: Delhi Daredevils Vs Kolkata Knight Riders
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Durban

May 5: Mohali Kings XI Punjab Vs Rajasthan Royal
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Durban

May 6: Mumbai Indians Vs Hyderabad Deccan chargers
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria

May 7: Mohali Kings XI Punjab Vs Chennai Super Kings
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria

May 7: Bangalore Royal Challengers Vs Rajasthan Royal
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria

May 8: Delhi Daredevils Vs Mumbai Indians
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: East London

May 9: Hyderabad Deccan chargers Vs Mohali Kings XI Punjab
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Bloemfontein.

May 9: Chennai Super Kings Vs Rajasthan Royal
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Port Elizabeth

May 10: Kolkata Knight Riders Vs Delhi Daredevils
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: East London

May 10: Bangalore Royal Challengers Vs Mumbai Indians
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Johannesburg

May 11: Hyderabad Deccan chargers Vs Rajasthan Royal
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Bloemfontein

May 12: Bangalore Royal Challengers Vs Kolkata Knight Riders
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria

May 12: Mohali Kings XI Punjab Vs Mumbai Indians
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria.

May 13: Hyderabad Deccan chargers Vs Delhi Daredevils
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Durban

May 14: Mumbai Indians Vs Rajasthan Royal
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Durban

May 14: Chennai Super Kings Vs Bangalore Royal Challengers
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Durban.

May 15: Mohali Kings XI Punjab Vs Delhi Daredevils
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Kimberley

May 16: Chennai Super Kings Vs Mumbai Indians
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Johannesburg

May 16: Hyderabad Deccan chargers Vs Kolkata Knight Riders
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Port Elizabeth

May 17: Rajasthan Royal Vs Delhi Daredevils
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Kimberley

May 17: Mohali Kings XI Punjab Vs Hyderabad Deccan chargers
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Johannesburg

May 18: Chennai Super Kings Vs Kolkata Knight Riders
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria

May 19: Delhi Daredevils Vs Bangalore Royal Challengers
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Johannesburg

May 20: Chennai Super Kings Vs Mohali Kings XI Punjab
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Durban

May 20: Rajasthan Royal Vs Kolkata Knight Riders
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Durban

May 21: Hyderabad Deccan chargers Vs Bangalore Royal Challengers
Time: 4:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria

May 21: Mumbai Indians Vs Delhi Daredevils
Time: 8:00 PM
Ground: Pretoria

May 22: Semi-final 1
Ground: Pretoria

May 23: Semi-final 2
Ground: Johannesburg

May 24: Final
Ground: Johannesburg.

Note: All times mentioned here are Indian Standard Time.

Yogasanas For Health, Beauty And Wellness

Yoga, the art and science of maintaining physical and mental well-being that has its origin in India, is among the most ancient yet vibrant living traditions that’s getting increasingly popular today. A potent stress-buster, yoga is an instrument to self-evolvement and enlightenment, through physical and mental well-being. Multi-dimensional, it enhances the quality of our lives at so many levels. One aspect of yoga’s benefits is to explore the bond between yoga, health and beauty.

Broadly, the word beauty incorporates physical, mental and spiritual beauty. It is a subtle balance of inner and outer beauty. Yogasanas when performed with perseverance, precision, patience, pleasure and ’shraddha’, yield highly rewarding results. They promote health and consequently beauty.   But to derive maximum benefit one has to embark on this daily practice or rather pilgrimage, with unflagging passion and commitment.

An ardent practitioner of asanas will reflect unusual grace, poise and beauty.   Asanas keep the spinal column supple, strong and healthy. This results in a steady and erect posture, boosting self-confidence. During asanas, the alternate stretching and relaxa-tion of muscles facilitates blood circulation and supply of oxygen, rejuvenating every cell of the body.

Various yogic postures gently massage internal vital organs, keeping them in perfect health. Consequently, our various systems function in complete harmony. The endocrine glands are stimulated and work with precision.   Cholesterol levels are kept in check and the blood pressure is normalised. This internal harmony cleanses and detoxifies the body and boosts the immune system.

Asanas make the body toned, strong and flexible. Standing asanas like the Tadasana and Trikonasana result in perfectly toned and shapely legs and ankles. Certain inverted postures like the Sarvangasana – the shoulder stand, the ‘king of asanas’ – results in blood flowing freely and profusely to the neck, face and hair. Facial skin becomes taut and wrinkle-free, attaining a radiant glow. The hair becomes thick and glossy, and the eyes acquire a natural shine.

Asanas speed up metabolism, resulting in a slim figure. There is no accumulation of fat anywhere in the body.

Forward bending like the Paschimottanasana and Uttanasana result in a flab-free abdomen. Naukasana and Aradhamatsendra result in a narrow, small waist. Facial features acquire a chiselled, fat-free look. This natural pampering of the body by asanas also results in slowing down the ageing process, both physical and mental.

A prolific sadhak or practitioner remains youthful, attractive, alert and at peace with himself. Then we are in touch with ourselves and can live life to the fullest.   Inner calm and joy are reflected on the face of the yogi.

When the body is so blissfully healthy, the mind reciprocates. Thus, in this happy, healthy body resides an equally joyous and healthy mind, which is balanced and in perfect equilibrium with the body.   This in turn leads to positivism in our thoughts, actions and relationships.

With regular and committed practice, toxins are got rid of.   Greed, jealousy, and anger are washed away. The maintenance of the various asanas for a few minutes at a time results in acquiring tenacity and concentration. This inner and outer beauty provides totality to the yogi’s personality. Asanas work both on the body and mind, and elevate and purify our consciousness, resulting in beauty of body, mind and soul.

Powerful Questions for Self-Discovery

Life lessons that foster personal growth are all around us. here are:

1) Why am I here?
This question gets to the core of your life mission. Every experience, every contact and every gift or talent that you have exists to support you in accomplishing your mission in life. If you are alive, you are here for a purpose. What will be the most important mark you make on the world?

2)What would I like to learn?
The most interesting people are those with a diversity of perspectives and experiences. Life is a learning journey. The more we learn, the more we grow… and the richer and deeper our life experience.

3)What brings me joy?
Make a list of the things that bring you joy, then begin incorporating those things into your life on a daily basis. Don’t wait for a special occasion to purposefully make your life joyful. You deserve joy every day.

4)What am I most afraid of?
Fear can be our enemy, if we allow it to be. Fear also can be a great teacher and a catalyst for change. For example, fear that you will fail can motivate you to be creative and work hard so that you succeed. On the other hand, fear can keep you from living your highest potential if your fear paralyzes you from moving forward in your life. Once you identify your fear, you can begin determining ways to reduce the risk that your fear presents. Once you make the decision to overcome your fear, you find your fears are often more perception than reality. As a result, you fear less in your life than ever before

5)What is one step I can take today to move closer to my ideal life?
Taking a step towards your dreams will generate excitement for the possibilities available to you. Write a vision of your ideal life and then move towards it one step at a time. Celebrate your steps along the way. Consider that following rules and tradition is not a prerequisite to success. Open your mind to creating your own opportunities – it’s what I call “entrepreneurial thinking.”

PAN Card Structure

Software engineer and his wife

Husband – hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife – would you like to have some snacks?

Husband – hard disk full.

Wife – have you brought the saree.

Husband – Bad command or file name.

Wife – but I told you about it in morning

Husband – erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife – hae bhagwan !forget it where’s your salary.

Husband – file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife – at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.

Husband – sharing violation, access denied.

Wife – I made a mistake in marrying you.

Husband – data type mismatch.

Wife – you are useless.

Husband – by default.

Wife – who was there with you in the car this morning?

Husband – system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife – what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?

Husband – the only user with write permission.

Wife – what is my value in your life?

Husband – unknown virus detected.

Wife – do you love me or your computer?

Husband – Too many parameters.

Wife – I will go to my dad’s house.

Husband – program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife – I will leave you forever.

Husband – close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife – it is worthless talking to you.

Husband – shut down the computer.

Wife – I am going

Husband – Its now safe to turn off your computer

Interesting Definitions of IT job People’s Designations

1. Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine Women can deliver a baby in One month.

2. Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single Woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4. Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.

5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6. Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t Need a man or woman; They’ll produce a child with zero resources.

7. Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.

8. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

9. Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.

7 Principles of Eagles-Very Inspiring!!

Eagles were the symbol of almost all conquerors, be it Caesar or Hitler the reason is!! Read on…..Inspiration from the “7 Principles of an Eagle” Author Dr. Myles Monroe:

1. Eagles fly alone at a high altitude and not with sparrows or mix with other smaller birds like geese. Birds of a feather flock together. No other bird goes to the height of the eagle.
Eagles fly with eagles.
Never in a flock. Even when Moses (Old Testament Bible) went to commune with God on the mountain, he left the crowd at the foothills. Stay away from sparrows and ravens.

2. Eagles have strong vision, which focuses up to 5 kilometers from the air. When an eagle sites prey- even a rodent from this distance, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.
Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacle and you will succeed.

3. Eagles do not eat dead things. He feeds on fresh prey. Vultures eat dead animals but not eagles.
Steer clear of outdated and old information. Do your research well always.

4. The Eagle is the only bird that loves the storm. When clouds gather, the eagles get excited. The eagle uses the wings of the storm to rise and is pushed up higher. Once it finds the wing of the storm, the eagle stops flapping and uses the pressure of the raging storm to soar the clouds and glide. This gives the eagle an opportunity to rest its wings. In the meantime all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees. We can use the storms of our lives (obstacles, trouble, etc) to rise to greater heights.
Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

5. The Eagle tests before it trusts. When a female eagle meets a male and they want to mate, she flies down to earth with the male pursuing her and she picks a twig. She flies back into the air with the male still pursuing her. Once she has reached a height high enough for her, she lets the twig fall to the ground and watches it as it falls. The male chases after the twig. The faster it falls, the faster he chases until he reaches it and has to catch it before it falls to the ground, then bring it back to the female eagle. The female eagle grabs the twig and flies to a much higher altitude pursued by the male until she perceives it high enough, and then drops the twig for the male to chase. This goes on for hours, with the height increasing until the female eagle is assured that the male eagle has mastered the art of picking the twig which shows commitment, then and only then, will she allow him to mate with her!
Whether in private life or in business, one should test commitment of people intended for partnership.

6. Eagles prepare for training. When about to lay eggs, the female and male eagle identify a place very high on a cliff where no predators can reach; the male flies to earth and at first, picks thorns and lays them on the crevice of the cliff, then flies to earth again to collect twigs which he lays in the intended nest. Then he picks thorns and lays them on top of the twigs. On them, he lays soft grass covering the thorns and then picks rugs to put on the grass. When this first layering is complete the male eagle runs back to earth and picks more thorns, grass and rugs and lays them on top of the thorns, then plucks his feathers to complete the nest.
The thorns on the outside of the nest protect it from possible intruders. Both male and female eagles participate in raising the eagle family.
The people who love us do not let us languish in sloth but push us hard to grow and prosper. Even in their seemingly bad actions they have good intentions for us.

7. When the Eagle grows old, his feathers become weak and cannot take him as fast as he should. When he feels weak and about to die, he retires to a place far away in the rocks. While there, he plucks out every feather on his body until he is completely bare. He stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers, then he can come out.
We occasionally need to shed off old habits & items that burden us add no value to our lives.

‘நான் அப்படித்தான்’ – அஜித் பேட்டி

அப்படித்தான் என்றால் எப்படி?

மனதில் பட்டதை பளிச்சென்று சொல்வது. உள்ளே ஒன்றை வைத்துக் கொண்டு வெளியே வேறொன்றைச் சொல்லாதது..
உண்மையான அக்கறையோடு பேசுவது. நாம் பேசும்போது அவருக்கும் நமக்குமான இடைவெளியே இல்லாதது. இதெல்லாம் அஜித்திடம் எப்பொழுதும் இருப்பவை.

இதனாலேயே உலகப் புகழ்பெற்ற `கான்ஸ்’ திரைப்பட விழாவில் `பில்லா’ படமும் கலந்துகொண்டு திரையிடப்பட்டதைப் பற்றிக் கேட்டதும் `கான்ஸ்’ திரைப்பட விழாவைப் பற்றி மிகவும் ஓபனாக, உற்சாகமாகப் பேச ஆரம்பித்தார் அஜித்.

“உலகம் முழுவதும் இருக்கிற திரைப்பட ஜாம்பவான்கள், ரசிகர்களுக்கு தீபாவளின்னா அது `கான்ஸ்’ திரைப்பட விழாதான் பாஸ். அப்படியொரு அமர்க்களமான விழா அது. முன்பு கான்ஸ் திரைப்பட விழாவைப் பத்தி எனக்கு பெரிசா எதுவும் தெரியாது.

`பில்லா’வுக்காக அங்கே போனதும்தான் அதனோட அருமை தெரிஞ்சது.. உண்மையிலேயே சிலிர்த் திருச்சு பாஸ். திரையிடப்படுற படம் முடிஞ்சதும் மக்கள் எல்லோரும் எழுந்து நின்று கைதட்டிப் பாராட்டுறதைப் பார்க்கவே நாம கொடுத்து வைச்சிருக்கணும். அரை மணி நேரம் கூட எல்லோரும் எழுந்து நின்று மரியாதை செலுத்துவாங்க. சினிமா மேல அவ்வளவு மரியாதை இருக்கு.”

`கான்ஸ்’ திரைப்பட விழாவில் சமீப காலமாக அதிகளவில் இந்தியத் திரைப்படங்கள் திரையிடப்படுகின்றன. ஆனால், விருதுகள் எதுவுமே வாங்கவில்லை என்கிறபோது இங்கு தேவையே இல்லாமல் கான்ஸ் திரைப்பட விழாவில் கலந்து கொண்ட படம் என பில்டப்கள் கொடுக்கப்படுகிறதே. உண்மைதான் என்ன?

“கான்ஸ் திரைப்பட விழாவைப் பத்தி இங்கு மக்களுக்கு யாருமே முழுமையாக விளக்கிச் சொல்லாமல் விட்டது வருத்தமான விஷயம்தான். இந்த விழாவைப் பொறுத்தவரை மூணு வகை ஸ்கிரீனிங் இருக்கு. முதல்ல போட்டிக்குத் திரை யிடுகிற வகை, போட்டியில்லாமல் திரையிடுகிற வகை. கடைசியாக மார்க்கெட்டிங் ஸ்கிரீனிங்.

உலகம் முழுவதிலுமிருந்து இரண்டாயிரம் படங்களைத் தேர்ந்தெடுத்து அதிலிருந்து இருபத்தொரு படங்களை திரையிடுவதுதான் Competitive Screening. இதில் வெற்றி பெறுகிற படங்களுக்குத்தான் விருதுகள் வழங்குவாங்க.

அடுத்ததாக, Noncompetitive Screening. ஸ்பெஷலாக திரையிடப்படுகிற படங்களுக்கும் மரியாதை அதிகம். இந்த இரண்டிலும் திரையிடப்படுகிற படங்களோட இயக்குநர்கள், நடிகர், நடிகைகளுக்குத்தான் ரெட் கார்பெட் வரவேற்பு கொடுப்பாங்க. இந்த இரண்டு ஸ்கிரீனிங் களுக்கும் பங்கு கொள்கிற படங்கள் முதல் முறையாக கான்ஸ் விழாவில்தான் திரையிடப்படு கிற படங்களாக இருக்கணும்.

அடுத்ததாக உலகம் முழுவதும் உள்ள சினிமா பிஸினெஸ், டிஸ்ட்ரிபியூட்டர்களுக்காக காண்பிப்பதுதான் மார்க் கெட்டிங் ஸ்கிரீனிங். இதுக்கு எந்த கண்டிஷனும் இல்லை. நம்ம படத்தை கான்ஸ் விழாவுல ஸ்கிரீன் பண்ண சில ஆயிரம் யூரோக்கள் பணம் கட்டவேண்டும். இந்த ஸ்கிரீனிங்கில் பல நாடுகளிலுள்ள டிஸ்ட்ரிபியூட்டர்கள் படம் பார்த்து, பிடித்திருந்தால் அவர்களுடைய நாட்டிலும் திரையிடுறாங்க. இதனால தமிழ் சினிமா மீது உலக நாடுகளின் கவனம் திரும்பியிருக்கு என்பது ரொம்ப சந்தோஷமான விஷயம்.”

அப்படியானால் `பில்லா’ எந்த வகை ஸ்கிரீனிங்கில் திரையிடப்பட்டது?

“மார்க்கெட்டிங் ஸ்கிரீனிங்கில் தான் பாஸ். இந்த உண்மையை நான் மறைக்கணும்னு நினைச்சதே இல்லை. மற்ற படங்களைப் போல மார்க்கெட்டிங் ஸ்கிரீனிங்கில் `பில்லா’ திரையிடப்பட்டாலும் ஒரு சின்ன சந்தோஷம் எங்களுக்கு இருக்கு. பொதுவாக கொரியா, சீனா உள்பட ஆசிய நாடுகளின் படங்கள் என்றால் நூறுபேர் மட்டுமே பார்க்கும் வசதியுள்ள ஸ்கிரீனிங்கில் அதிக பட்சம் பத்துப் பேர்தான் பார்ப்பார்கள். ஆனால், பில்லாவைப் பார்க்க இதுவரையிலும் அதிக பட்சமாக நாற்பது பேருக்குமேல் வந்தது எங்களுக்கே ஆச்சர்யமாக இருந்தது.”

உலக சினிமாவோடு போட்டி போட்டு Competitive Screening நம்முடைய தமிழ்ப் படங்களும் போட்டியிடும் நிலை இன்னும் வரவில்லையே. அந்தக் குறையைப் போக்கும் எண்ணம் உங்களுக்கு இருக்கிறதா?

“நிச்சயம் இருக்கு. ஆனால் அதுக்கான காலம், வாய்ப்புகள் வரும்போது நான் அதைச் செய்துகாட்டத் தயாராக இருக்கேன்.

நம்மாலும் முடியும் பாஸ். தமிழ் சினிமா மூலம் விருது வாங்க சீக்கிரமே நாமும் ரெட்கார்பெட் வரவேற்போடு போவோம். ஸோ டோன்ட் வொர்ரி” என்று தனது ஃபேவரிட் புன்னகையைத் தவழ விடுகிறார் அஜித்..

Customer care in 2030- Funny

Operator: “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your…”
Customer: “Heloo, can I order…”

Operator: “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”
Customer: “It’s eh…, hold…….. ..on….. .889861356102049 998-45-54610″

Operator: “OK… you’re… Mr Bagga and you’re calling from 114 Civil Lines. Your home number is 93XXXXXXXX, your office 0161-2XXXXXX and your mobile is 099XXXXXXXX. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”
Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator: “We are connected to the system Sir”
Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator: “That’s not a good idea Sir”
Customer: “How come?”

Operator: “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”
Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”

Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs.399″
Customer: “Can I pay by! credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs.10000 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.. .”
Customer: ” What!”

Operator : “According to the details in system ,you own a Bike,…registration number 0739…”
Customer: ” ????”

Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic…. … “
Customer: #$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman… ?”
Customer: [Faints........]

Information about human brain

We’ve long known that the brain is an amazing thing, but did you specifically know that:

• Every person has more than 75km of nerves in their body.

• Your nerves can send messages faster than a Grand Prix car travels.

• The brain is the most complex machine in the universe – it has over 100,000,000, 000 nerve cells each with up to 150,000 connections. Each cell is connected to 25,000 others.

• If every person on the planet simultaneously made 200,000 phone calls, there would be the same total number of connections as in a single human brain in a day

• The grey cells occupy only 5% of our brains – 95% is taken up by the communication network that runs between the grey cells!

• The brain weighs about 1.5 kg in an adult human, about 1.5% of the body weight.

• Damaged brain cells do not regenerate but mental and physical functions can improve after mild or moderate brain damage with skilful rehabilitation.

• Compared to other animals, human brains are big for the body.

• The human brain is only just bigger than your two fists.

• On average, the male brain (approx 1.4kg) is slightly bigger than the female brain (approx 1.26kg).

• Each half of the brain controls the other half of your body.

• In right-handed individuals (which comprise 91% of people): the right side of the brain controls: musical talent, fantasy, imagination, dreams, drawing, and painting. The left side of the brain controls: mathematical ability, ability to solve logic problems, controls language skills, remembers names, dates, and facts.

• The grey part of the brain is folded to fit inside the skull and, if flattened, it would cover the surface of an office desk.

• The brain contains 100 billion brain cells of which, 100,000 are irretrievably lost each day.

• You can retain about seven facts at any one time in short term memory, but over the long term your brain has to forget things to make room for new memories.