DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of the seminars, a woman asked a common question.

She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?”

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,”It depends. Is that your husband?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?”
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.

Here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love…

Because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you

think about your marriage! , you wi ll notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage..

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the __expression “the labor of love.”

Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ..you can “make” love.

Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… Not just a feeling.

“No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.

No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.

And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice”

Why do we sleep

The science of sleep

We spend a third of our lives doing it.
Napoleon, Florence Nightingale and Margaret Thatcher got by on four hours a night.
Thomas Edison claimed it was waste of time.

Why do we sleep?

So why do we sleep? This is a question that has baffled scientists for centuries and the answer is, no one is really sure. Some believe that sleep gives the body a chance to recuperate from the day’s activities but in reality, the amount of energy saved by sleeping for even eight hours is miniscule – about 50 kCal, the same amount of energy in a piece of toast.

We have to sleep because it is essential to maintaining normal levels of cognitive skills such as speech, memory, innovative and flexible thinking. In other words, sleep plays a significant role in brain development.

What would happen if we didn’t sleep?

A good way to understand the role of sleep is to look at what would happen if we didn’t sleep. Lack of sleep has serious effects on our brain’s ability to function. If you’ve ever pulled an all-nighter, you’ll be familiar with the following after-effects: grumpiness, grogginess, irritability and forgetfulness. After just one night without sleep, concentration becomes more difficult and attention span shortens considerably.

With continued lack of sufficient sleep, the part of the brain that controls language, memory, planning and sense of time is severely affected, practically shutting down. In fact, 17 hours of sustained wakefulness leads to a decrease in performance equivalent to a blood alcohol level of 0.05% (two glasses of wine). This is the legal drink driving limit in the UK.

Research also shows that sleep-deprived individuals often have difficulty in responding to rapidly changing situations and making rational judgments. In real life situations, the consequences are grave and lack of sleep is said to have been be a contributory factor to a number of international disasters such as Exxon Valdez, Chernobyl, Three Mile Island and the Challenger shuttle explosion.

Sleep deprivation not only has a major impact on cognitive functioning but also on emotional and physical health.. Disorders such as sleep apnoea which result in excessive daytime sleepiness have been linked to stress and high blood pressure. Research has also suggested that sleep loss may increase the risk of obesity because chemicals and hormones that play a key role in controlling appetite and weight gain are released during sleep.

What happens when we sleep?

What happens every time we get a bit of shut eye? Sleep occurs in a recurring cycle of 90 to 110 minutes and is divided into two categories: non-REM (which is further split into four stages) and REM sleep.

Non-REM sleep

Stage one: Light Sleep
During the first stage of sleep, we’re half awake and half asleep. Our muscle activity slows down and slight twitching may occur. This is a period of light sleep, meaning we can be awakened easily at this stage.
Stage two: True Sleep
Within ten minutes of light sleep, we enter stage two, which lasts around 20 minutes. The breathing pattern and heart rate start to slow down. This period accounts for the largest part of human sleep.
Stages three and four: Deep Sleep
During stage three, the brain begins to produce delta waves, a type of wave that is large (high amplitude) and slow (low frequency). Breathing and heart rate are at their lowest levels.

Stage four is characterized by rhythmic breathing and limited muscle activity. If we are awakened during deep sleep we do not adjust immediately and often feel groggy and disoriented for several minutes after waking up. Some children experience bed-wetting, night terrors, or sleepwalking during this stage.

REM sleep

The first rapid eye movement (REM) period usually begins about 70 to 90 minutes after we fall asleep. We have around three to five REM episodes a night.

Although we are not conscious, the brain is very active – often more so than when we are awake. This is the period when most dreams occur. Our eyes dart around (hence the name), our breathing rate and blood pressure rise. However, our bodies are effectively paralysed, said to be nature’s way of preventing us from acting out our dreams.

After REM sleep, the whole cycle begins again.

How much sleep is required?

There is no set amount of time that everyone needs to sleep, since it varies from person to person. Results from the sleep profiler indicate that people like to sleep anywhere between 5 and 11 hours, with the average being 7.75 hours.

Jim Horne from Loughborough University’s Sleep Research Centre has a simple answer though: “The amount of sleep we require is what we need not to be sleepy in the daytime.”

Even animals require varied amounts of sleep:

Species	Average total sleep time per day
Python	18 hrs
Tiger	15.8 hrs
Cat	12.1 hrs
Chimpanzee	9.7 hrs
Sheep	3.8 hrs
African elephant	3.3 hrs
Giraffe	1.9 hr

The current world record for the longest period without sleep is 11 days, set by Randy Gardner in 1965. Four days into the research, he began hallucinating. This was followed by a delusion where he thought he was a famous footballer. Surprisingly, Randy was actually functioning quite well at the end of his research and he could still beat the scientist at pinball.

ICC -T20 World cup 2009 schedule – England

Full schedule of the T20 World cup 2009 as Under :

Date	Teams	Type	Venue
05, June 2009	England v Netherlands	D/N	London
06, June 2009	New Zealand v Scotland	Day	London
06, June 2009	Australia v West Indies	Day	London
06, June 2009	India v Bangladesh	D/N	Nottingham
07, June 2009	South Africa v Scotland	Day	London
07, June 2009	England v Pakistan	D/N	London
08, June 2009	Bangladesh v Ireland	Day	Nottingham
08, June 2009	Australia v Sri Lanka	D/N	Nottingham
09, June 2009	Pakistan v Netherlands	Day	London
09, June 2009	New Zealand v South Africa	D/N	London
10, June 2009	Sri Lanka v West Indies	Day	Nottingham
10, June 2009	India v Ireland	D/N	Nottingham
Twenty20 World Cup 2009 – Super Eight
Date	Teams	Type	Venue
11, June 2009	D1 v A2	Day	Nottingham
11, June 2009	B2 v D2	D/N	Nottingham
12, June 2009	B2 v D2	Day	London
12, June 2009	A1 v C1	D/N	London
13, June 2009	C1 v D2	Day	London
13, June 2009	D1 v B1	D/N	London
14, June 2009	A2 v C2	Day	London
14, June 2009	A1 v B2	D/N	London
15, June 2009	B2 v C1	Day	London
15, June 2009	B1 v A2	D/N	London
16, June 2009	D1 v C2	Day	Nottingham
16, June 2009	D2 v A1	D/N	Nottingham
Twenty20 World Cup 2009 – Semi Final
Date	Teams	Type	Venue
18, June 2009	1st Semi-Final	Day	Nottingham
19, June 2009	2nd Semi-Final	D/N	London
Twenty20 World Cup 2009 – Final
Date	Teams	Type	Venue
21, June 2009	Final	Day	London

Beauty Of Mathematics

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn’t it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this…

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Guru Vs Teacher

A teacher takes responsibility of your growth
A Guru makes you responsible for your growth

A teacher gives you things you do not have and require
A Guru takes away things you have and do not require

A teacher answers your questions
A Guru questions your answers

A teacher helps you get out of the maze
A Guru destroys the maze

A teacher requires obedience and discipline from the pupil
A Guru requires trust and humility from the pupil

A teacher prepares you for the outer journey
A Guru prepares you for the inner journey

A teacher is a guide on the path
A Guru is a pointer to the way

A teacher sends you on the road to success
A Guru sends you on the road to freedom

A teacher explains the world and its nature to you
A Guru explains yourself and your nature to you

A teacher makes you understand how to move about in the world
A Guru shows you where you stand in relation to the world

A teacher instructs you
A Guru constructs you

A teacher sharpens your mind
A Guru opens your mind

A teacher shows you the way to prosperity
A Guru shows the way to serenity

A teacher reaches your mind
A Guru touches your soul

A teacher gives you knowledge
A Guru makes you wise

A teacher gives you maturity
A Guru returns you to innocence

A teacher instructs you on how to solve problems
A Guru shows you how to resolve issues

A teacher is a systematic thinker
A Guru is a lateral thinker

A teacher will punish you with a stick
A Guru will punish you with compassion

A teacher is to pupil what a father is to son
A Guru is to pupil what mother is to her child

One can always find a teacher
But a Guru has to find and accept you

A teacher leads you by the hand
A Guru leads you by example

When a teacher finishes with you, you graduate
When a Guru finishes with you, you celebrate

When the course is over you are thankful to the teacher
When the discourse is over you are grateful to the Guru

Why We Fail?

Lack of persistence

When problems seem uncontrolable, quitting seems to be the easiest way out. It is true for every marriage, job and relationship. Winners are struck but not destroyed. We all have had setbacks in life. Failing does not mean we are failures.

More people fail not because they lack knowledge or talent but because they quit. The total secret of success lies in two words, persistence and resistance. Persist in what must be done and resist what ought not be done.

Lack of conviction

People who lack conviction take the middle of the road; and guess what happens in the middle of the road? You get run over. People without conviction do not take a stand. They go along to get along because they lack confidence and courage. They conform in order to get accepted even when they know that what they are doing is wrong. They behave like part of a herd.

Rationalizing( Excuses)

Winners may analyze but never rationalize? that is a loser’s game. Losers always have a book full of excuses to tell you why they could not. We hear excuses like:

- I’m unlucky.

- I’m born under the wrong stars.

- I’m too young.

- I’m too old.

- I’m handicapped.

- I’m not smart enough.

- I’m not educated.

- I’m not good looking.

- I don’t have contacts.

- I don’t have enough money.

- The economy is bad.

- If only I had the opportunity.

- If only I didn’t have a family.

The list can go on and on.

Not learning from past mistakes

People who do not learn lessons from history are doomed. Failure is a teacher if we have the right attitude. Failure is a detour, not a dead end. It is a delay, not a defeat. Experience is the name we give to our mistakes.

Some people live and learn, and some only live. Wise people learn from their mistakes?wiser people learn from other people’s mistakes. Our lives are not long enough to learn only from our own mistakes. Some people not only never learn from their mistakes but keep practicing them till they master them. They become experts in making mistakes.

Lack of discipline

Have you ever wondered why some people never reach their goals? Why they are always frustrated with reversals and crises? Why is it some people have continued success, while others have endless failures? Anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile has never done so without discipline, whether in sports, athletics, academia or business.

Lack of consistency is poor discipline. Discipline takes self-control, sacrifice, and avoiding distractions and temptations. It means staying focused. Steam does not move the engine unless it is confined. Niagara Falls would not generate power unless it were harnessed.

Poor self-esteem

Poor self-esteem is a lack of self-respect and self-worth. It leads to abuse of one’s self and others. Ego takes the driver’s seat. Decisions are taken more to satisfy the ego than to accomplish anything worthwhile. People with low self-esteem are constantly looking for identity. They are trying to find themselves. One’s self is not to be found but to be created. Idleness and laziness are consequences of poor self-esteem and so is making excuses. Idleness is like rust that eats into the most brilliant metal.

Fatalistic attitude

A fatalistic attitude prevents people from accepting responsibility for their position in life. They attribute success and failure to luck. They resign themselves to their fate. They believe and accept the predestined future written in their horoscope or stars, that regardless of their effort whatever has to happen will happen. Hence they never put in any effort and complacency becomes a way of life. They wait for things to happen rather than make them happen. Success is a matter of luck, ask any failure.

Lack of courage

Successful people are not looking for miracles or easy tasks. They seek courage and strength to overcome obstacles. They look at what is left rather than what is lost. Wishes don’t come true; beliefs and expectations supported by conviction do. Prayers are only answered when they are supported with courageous action. It is courage and character that is the deadly combination for success. This is the difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary.

Easy Vs Difficult

LTTE chief Prabhakaran’s dead body found

Colombo: Sri Lankan state television on Tuesday broadcast video footage of what it said was the body of Tamil Tiger leader Velupillai Prabhakaran, with the face of the rebel leader visible. The images, also carried by the private Swarnavahini channel, showed the upper section of a corpse which was dressed in camouflage uniform.

The Commander of the Sri Lankan Army, General Sarath Fonseka, has confirmed that LTTE chief Prabhakaran’s body has been found on Tuesday morning by the Lankan troops.

The terror chief’s body was found by the 53 Division troops led by Major General Kamal Goonarathne, Sri Lankan military sources said.

A Lankan military spokesman also said that Prabhakaran was in uniform and there were bullet wounds on his head.

The Lankan military claimed that they have positively identified 18 bodies of senior LTTE cadres. The list of identified LTTE leaders include:

* Pottu Amman: LTTE’s Intelligence Wing Leader

* Bhanu: LTTE military leader

* Jeyam: LTTE military leader

* B Nadesan: LTTE’s Political Head

* S Pulidevan: Head of LTTE’s Peace Secretariat

* Ramesh: LTTE special military leader

* Ilango: LTTE Police Chief

* Charles Anthony: Eldest son of LTTE chief V Prabhakaran

* Sudharman: Aide to LTTE leader’s son

* Thomas: Senior intelligence leader

* Luxman: LTTE military leader

* Sri Ram: Senior Sea Tiger cadre

* Isei Aravi: LTTE female military leader

* Kapil Amman: LTTE deputy intelligence leader

* Ajanthi: Female LTTE training in charge

* Wardha: LTTE mortar in-charge

* Pudiyawan: Secretary to the LTTE leader

* Jenarthan: Special military leader

Election Result 2009-Tamilnadu

Source : http://www.dinamalar.com

ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss

are on their way to a meeting.

On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says,

“Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,

I will allow one wish each”

So the eager senior manager shouted,

“I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.”

Pufffff. and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.” Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,

“I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.”

MORAL OF THE STORY IS:

“ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST”