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Archive for August, 2009

Love and Marriage

Posted by Ramkumar on August 10, 2009

A student asks a teacher, “What is love?”

The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.

But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders….may be there is a bigger one later.

Then he saw another bigger one… But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, “…this is love… You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person….”

What is marriage then?” the student asked.

The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, “this time you bring back a corn…. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get…. This is marriage.“*

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40 Things You May Not Know

Posted by Ramkumar on August 5, 2009

1. Money isn’t made out of paper; it’s made out of cotton.

2. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the varieties of pickle the company once had.

3. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks – otherwise it will digest itself .

4. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

5. The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a “tittle”.

6. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

7. Susan Lucci is not the daughter of Phyllis Diller(internet rumors).  Susan Lucci is the daughter of Victor

8. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo … no one knows why.

9. 40% of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

10 Every person has a unique tongue print (no licking at the scene of a crime!).

11. 315 entries in Webster’s 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

12. The ’spot’ on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was albino.

13. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

14. During the chariot scene in ‘Ben Hur’ a small red car can be seen in the distance.

15. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

16. Chocolate affects a dog’s heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

17. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark’s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

18. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww)..

19. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants!

20. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

21. Upper and lower case letters are named ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the ‘upper case’ letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, ‘lower case’ letters.

22. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

23. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

24. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

25. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, there was never a recorded Wendy before!

26. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

27. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa’s lips.

28. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

29. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original “Halloween” was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

30. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19.. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

31. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can’t sink in quicksand.

32. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

33. American Airlines saved $40,000 in ‘87 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.

34. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

35. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It’s the same with apples!

36. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

37. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

38. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

39. Back in the mid to late 80’s, an IBM compatible computer wasn’t considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft’s Flight Simulator game.

40. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages them.

Posted in Cute Wordings, Funny News, General | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

Wanted A Wife – FUNNY HUMORS

Posted by Ramkumar on August 3, 2009

A news paper had a humour page with following matrimonials published in it.

BANKER: Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

CAR MECHANIC: Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run the household at a good average.

DOCTOR: Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage. I’m looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.

DRUNKER: Wanted a girl. Girl’s father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preffered will carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample.

LAWYER: I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I’m looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER: Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features (privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities) .There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her.LowBugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build. She Must not be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT, USER FRIENDLY. We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never be released to ANY OTHER Customer.

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Posted in Cute Wordings, Funny News, General | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »