Its My Space

Cooooooooooool

Archive for the ‘Funny News’ Category

Funny News

40 Things You May Not Know

Posted by Ramkumar on August 5, 2009

1. Money isn’t made out of paper; it’s made out of cotton.

2. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the varieties of pickle the company once had.

3. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks – otherwise it will digest itself .

4. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

5. The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a “tittle”.

6. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

7. Susan Lucci is not the daughter of Phyllis Diller(internet rumors).  Susan Lucci is the daughter of Victor

8. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo … no one knows why.

9. 40% of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

10 Every person has a unique tongue print (no licking at the scene of a crime!).

11. 315 entries in Webster’s 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

12. The ’spot’ on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was albino.

13. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

14. During the chariot scene in ‘Ben Hur’ a small red car can be seen in the distance.

15. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

16. Chocolate affects a dog’s heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

17. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark’s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

18. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww)..

19. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants!

20. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

21. Upper and lower case letters are named ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the ‘upper case’ letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, ‘lower case’ letters.

22. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

23. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

24. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

25. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, there was never a recorded Wendy before!

26. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

27. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa’s lips.

28. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

29. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original “Halloween” was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

30. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19.. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

31. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can’t sink in quicksand.

32. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

33. American Airlines saved $40,000 in ‘87 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.

34. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

35. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It’s the same with apples!

36. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

37. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

38. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

39. Back in the mid to late 80’s, an IBM compatible computer wasn’t considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft’s Flight Simulator game.

40. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages them.

Posted in Cute Wordings, Funny News, General | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

Wanted A Wife – FUNNY HUMORS

Posted by Ramkumar on August 3, 2009

A news paper had a humour page with following matrimonials published in it.

BANKER: Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

CAR MECHANIC: Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run the household at a good average.

DOCTOR: Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage. I’m looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.

DRUNKER: Wanted a girl. Girl’s father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preffered will carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample.

LAWYER: I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I’m looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER: Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features (privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities) .There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her.LowBugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build. She Must not be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT, USER FRIENDLY. We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never be released to ANY OTHER Customer.

.

Posted in Cute Wordings, Funny News, General | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Longest english words

Posted by Ramkumar on July 16, 2009

13. Honorificabilitudin ita – Tibus (27 letters)
The word occurs in Shakespeare’s play Love’s Labour’s Lost, and mens “with honorablenesses .” It can also be viewed as a rearrangement of the Latin sentence “Hi ludi F. Baconis nati tuiti orbi”, meaning: “Tese plays, F.Bacon’s offspring, are preserved for the world. This twist has been used to support the”Baconian theory” that Francis Bacon wrote Shakespeare’s plays.
However, in The Shakespearean Ciphers Examined (Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press, 1957), William F. and Elizebeth S. Friedman have similar anagrams that “prove” Theodore Roosevelt, Lewis Carroll, and Gertrude Stein also wrote Shakespeare.

12. Antidisestablishmen tarianism(28 letters)
The word means, according Funk & Wagnalls New Standard Dictionary of the English Language, “a doctrine of opposition to disestablishment (withdrawal of state patronage, support, or exclusive recognition from a church)”.It is said to have been used once by British Prime Minister WilliamEwart Gladstone (1809 – 1898).

11. Floccinaucinihilipi pification (29 letters)
This is found in the Oxford English Dictionary, and means “the action or habit of estimating something as worthless”.

10. Supercalifragilisti ceplalidocious (34 letters)
From the movie Mary Poppins. It means “god”.

9. Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly (37 letters)
Used by Mark McShane in his novel Untimely Ripped (1963). It means the act of surpassing the act of transubstantiation, which refers specifically to the transformation of the bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ during the Roman Catholic mass.

8. Hepaticocholecystos tcholecystentero stomy(40 letters)
Found in Gould’s Medical Dictionary. It is defined as “the surgical formation of a passage between the gall bladder and hepatic duct, on the one hand, andbetween the intestine and he gall bladder, on the other”.

7. Pneumonoultramicros copicsilicovolca noconiosts(45 letters)
Found in Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, 8th edition. It is “a pneumoconiosis caused by the inhalation of very fine silicate or quartz dust”. It occurs especially in miners.

6. Antipericatametaana parcircumvolutio rectumgustpoopsof the coprofied (50 letters)
The title of a book on a shelf in a library in the classic ribald work Gargantua and Pantagruel, by Francois Rabelais.

5. Osseocarnisanguineo viscericartilagi ninervomedullary(51 letters)
A team that describes the structure of the human body; it occurs in Heading Hall (1861), a novel by Thomas Love Peacock.

4. Aequeosalinocalcali noceraceoalumino scupreovitriolic(52 letters)
Describes the composition of the spa wters at Bristol, in Gloucestershire, England. The word was coined by an English medical writer, Dr. Edward Strother (1675 – 1737).

3.Bababadalgharaght akamminapronnkon nbronntonnepronn t-uonnthunntrovarrhou nawnskawntoohooh oordeenenthurnuk(100 letters)
This word is on the first pate of Finegans Wake by James Joyce, and is a symbolic thunderclap representing the fall of Adam and Eve. (Other 100-letter words appear throughout the book.)

2. Lopadotemachoselach ogaleokranioleip sanodrimhypotrim -matosilphiparaomeli tokatakechymenok ichlepikossyphop hat-toperisteralektryon optekephalliokig lopeleiolagoiosi raiobaph-etraganopterygon (182 letters)
The English transliteration of a Greek word that occurs in Aristophanes’ play The Ecclesiazusae. The word is defined a “a goulash composed of all the leftovers from the meals of the last two weeks”, or “has”. A more, detailed translation is  “plattero-filletomul leti-turboto- cranio-morselo-pickleo-acido- silphio-honeyo- poured on the top of theouzelo-throstleo -cushato- culvero-roasting o- marrowo-dippero- levereto- syrupo-gibleto- wings.

1. (3,600 letters)
A chemical name describing bovine NADP – specific glutamate dehydrogenase, which contains 500 amino acids.

Posted in Funny News, General | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Wrong Number – A Beautiful Story

Posted by Ramkumar on July 16, 2009

It was the day of my son’s XII results and I was so tensed. I sat beside him while he logged on the website with his registration no.”Ma”, he screamed in excitement, “I scored 1191, with centum in 4 subjects.” I can’t believe it. “I kind of became numb in my excitement. My eyes became wet. I kissed him on his forehead and smiled.”

Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, my joy knew no bounds when Reporters and media persons soon swamped my house for interviews and photos. I was so honored to join him in the snaps.

I wanted to call my “wrong-number- friend” to tell him the news…… I was so excited. He was someone whom I have known for more than 20 years.

I still do not remember when we became friends, but certainly cannot forget the first day he called me When I blasted him for giving me so many wrong calls….. After that he had called up a week later asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted to talk to .We spoke for an hour that day…even without knowing each other’s names. Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never did and so he kept a name…Sweety. I used to get so shy whenever he  called me ‘Sweety’. I was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer Engineering student.

From then he used to call me very often. We almost discussed everything. By the final year of my college, we probably we were in love, but I had been cautious. I was in a dilemma whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different religion? Do I have the courage to talk to my parents about it? ……..all these questions ran through my mind.

I decided I’ll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time I laid to him I that I was going to Delhifor my post graduation. He gave me his office number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there. I never called…… .

A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a guy of my parent’s choice. I was not happy but I did not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong- number- friend…… .

My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any good time with him- but he was genuine indeed and never bothered my personal space. After 2 years we had a boy…Yet, I was not very happy with my married life…One day I happened to browse through my diary and found I still had my old friend’s office phone no that he had given me. I dialed it and spoke with him. He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad that I could not marry him.

From then I used to occasionally call him on that number. I never gave him mine as I felt that would put me in trouble… And till today I almost shared everything with him including my relationship with my hubby…..today I was so happy and I wanted to call him.

Just then I got a call. “Your husband met with an accident and died on the spot” I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my friend…..I somehow started feeling guilty. I have never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive or moved close with him…. I felt I had been a bad wife……..

A couple of years passed and one day my son brought home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get married. I got them married as I did not want my son to go through what I did.

I decided to give my son his father’s room and started clearing it. There was a phone book. I gently opened it to find,

“Wrong no Sweety – 26579785″!!! !!

Posted in Funny News, General, Inspiration | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Univercell Vijay Awards 2009 – winners

Posted by Ramkumar on June 16, 2009

Awards

Name

Film

Song

Favourite Hero Dr.Kamal Haasan Dasavatharam
Favourite Heroine Nayantara Yaaradi Nee Mohini
Favourite Film Vaaranam Aaiyram
Favourite Director Gautham Vasudev Menon Vaaranam Aaiyram
Best Actor Surya Vaaranam Aaiyram
Best Supporting Female Actress Simran Vaaranam Aaiyram
Best Music Director Harris Jayaraj
Best Playback Singer Hariharan Vaaranam Aaiyram Nenjukkul
Best Lyricist Thamarai Vaaranam Aaiyram Nenjukkul
Best Makeup Artists Banu And Yogesh Vaaranam Aaiyram
Best Director Sasi Kumar Subramaniapuram
Best Cinematographer S.R.Kathir
Best Editor Raja Mohammed
Best Stunt Master Rajasekhar Subramaniapuram
Best Comedian Dr.Kamal Haasan Dasavatharam
Best Villian Dr.Kamal Haasan Dasavatharam
Best Story Screenplay Writer Dr.Kamal Haasan Dasavatharam
Best Art Directors Sammer Chanda, Prabhakaran, Thota Tharani
Best Costume Designer Gautami Tadimalla Dasavatharam
Best Female Actress Sneha Privom Santhipom
Best New Comer Parvathy Poo
Best Playpack Singer Bombay Jayashri Dhaam Dhoom Yaaro Manathilae
Best Find Of The Year James Vasanthan Subramaniapuram
Best Entertainer Of The Year Dhanush Yaaradi Nee Mohini
Most Prestigious Chevalier Sivaji Ganesan A.R Rahman
Best Crew Award Subramaniapuram Team Subramaniapuram
Best Contribution to Tamil Cinema Satyam Cinemas

Posted in Funny News, General, Media | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Classic definition & Cool Meanings in new dictionary

Posted by Ramkumar on June 9, 2009

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master .

4. Porce : Future tense of marriage .

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of piding a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power. ..

9. Dictionary : A place where porce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee : Inpiduals who can do nothing inpidually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

24. Pessimist : - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such blogs…

Posted in Cute Wordings, Funny News, General, Inspiration | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Beauty Of Mathematics

Posted by Ramkumar on May 28, 2009

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432

123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn’t it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this…

101%


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Posted in Cute Wordings, Funny News, General, Technology | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Election Result 2009-Tamilnadu

Posted by Ramkumar on May 17, 2009


1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

32

33

34

35

36

37

38

Source : http://www.dinamalar.com

Posted in Funny News, General, Images, Media | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST

Posted by Ramkumar on May 15, 2009

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss

are on their way to a meeting.

On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says,

“Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,

I will allow one wish each”

So the eager senior manager shouted,

“I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.”

Pufffff. and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.” Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,

“I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.”

MORAL OF THE STORY IS:

“ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST”

Posted in Funny News, General | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Software Engineer’s Daily Routine

Posted by Ramkumar on May 12, 2009

8:30AM: wake up

8:45AM: Tough decision; to bath or not.

8:50AM: Have To.

9:15AM: Punch in.

9:20AM: Check Mail.

9:25AM: Check Again just in case…

9:30AM: Since It is already 9:30 wait for tea (9:45AM).

9:45AM: TEA party.

10:00AM: Check Mail.

10:05AM: Check again. Can’t believe that no mail has come. Is every body dead or what?

10:20AM: Sudden feeling of loneliness and desperation turn around to look for some body (Any body) to talk to.

10:30AM: Found a guy testing something. Feel real pity for his pathetic, boring and useless existence.

10:40AM: Sudden urge to get some work done and fast. Start looking for the file.(Can’t remember it’s name)

11:00AM: Boss summons in his office. Bad sign.

11:30AM: How the hell! Am I supposed to remember everything? Why should I be responsible for everything that goes bad?

11:45AM: Try to locate a scapegoat. No body around.

12:00AM: Mood is really bad decided to postpone work till after lunch.

12:30AM: lunch

1:00PM: Lunch over.

1:10PM: Go for a smoke. Can’t even smoke in this god forsaken place.

1:35PM: Back from a smoke. It was good. I even did not pay for the cig. The other chap is so foolish.

1:50PM: Mood is good. Decide to go to cool web sites. Real sleazy thoughts.

2:30PM: Feeling real sleepy after such a mammoth mental effort.

2:45PM: Tea Time.

3:00PM: Chat and discuss with colleague on the bad state of the company. Blame everybody for incompetence and laziness

4:00PM: A guy from testing comes for help.(Jerk)

4:11PM: Try to look busy.

4:12PM: He is asking for a technical help.(Real jerk).

4:15PM: After really making him beg for help decide to take a look.

4:50PM: No solution found. Really angry on the guy for getting myself involved.

4:55PM: Suddenly boss is spotted in the neighboring area. Try making as much loud noise as possible with some obscure technical jargon thrown in.

5:00PM: Boss has gone back to his den. Coast is clear.

5:05PM: Blame the problem on RnD.

5:10PM: Check mail. “Yes” a mail has finally arrived.

5:13PM: It’s a silly joke and old too. But it felt good.

5:14PM: a quick dash for gate.

5:15PM: Third in punching out.

5:25PM: Reached Room.

5:26PM: TV on. No worth while program.

8:30PM: Still no worth while program. Every body is getting lazy and irresponsible what will happen to this world GOD help us. Curse government and RnD.

8:45PM: Food arrives. Pretty bad and stinking.

8:48PM: Dinner finished.

12:45AM: Today there were really good programs.

1:46AM: Decide to sleep. Tough day ahead.

Posted in Funny News, General | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »